Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Where am I?
I haven't had time to keep up with all of my blogs. My main blog is now here: AskMeanMom
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Children are not projects
(Also posted on my other blog, MeanMomClub
Just read an article in USA Today about Beta Moms/Alpha Moms. Thought it was very good, and I loved this quote:
"Our children are people — not projects," says Syler, 44, of Westchester County, N.Y. "Motherhood is not a contest."
Exactly! When we lived in a suburb of Richmond, VA, some years ago, that's about what it seemed like when the moms were "soccer moms." Always trying to out-do the other moms, their kids had the latest and greatest fad, they were in numerous activities. And they would sigh over how busy they were and how worn out from running to piano to dance to karate to gymnastics to swim team. They weren't really complaining, it ws their way of bragging...look how much my kids is doing, look at what a good mommy I am.
I was fortunate enough to have other friends who were slacker moms, too, so my son had someone to play in the mud with in his backyard! Can he plink out a tune on the piano? No. Can he execute any ballet steps? No. But he has fond memories of his younger years (he's almost 16 now) of playing in the neighborhood with the other urchins of slacker moms. He didn't grow up in his carseat, staring at the back of my head as I drove him from place to place. He learned to entertain himself, and to create his own fun. That doesn't mean that I never took him anywhere. He swam at the local pool, but not a swim team. We went to parks, museums, botanical gardens. Sometimes his clothes matched. :)
I wonder if, years from now, the Alpha Moms will regret that they didn't slow down and enjoy life more, and let their kids just be kids?
Here's the USA Today article:
'Slacker Moms' urge other mothers to chill
Just read an article in USA Today about Beta Moms/Alpha Moms. Thought it was very good, and I loved this quote:
"Our children are people — not projects," says Syler, 44, of Westchester County, N.Y. "Motherhood is not a contest."
Exactly! When we lived in a suburb of Richmond, VA, some years ago, that's about what it seemed like when the moms were "soccer moms." Always trying to out-do the other moms, their kids had the latest and greatest fad, they were in numerous activities. And they would sigh over how busy they were and how worn out from running to piano to dance to karate to gymnastics to swim team. They weren't really complaining, it ws their way of bragging...look how much my kids is doing, look at what a good mommy I am.
I was fortunate enough to have other friends who were slacker moms, too, so my son had someone to play in the mud with in his backyard! Can he plink out a tune on the piano? No. Can he execute any ballet steps? No. But he has fond memories of his younger years (he's almost 16 now) of playing in the neighborhood with the other urchins of slacker moms. He didn't grow up in his carseat, staring at the back of my head as I drove him from place to place. He learned to entertain himself, and to create his own fun. That doesn't mean that I never took him anywhere. He swam at the local pool, but not a swim team. We went to parks, museums, botanical gardens. Sometimes his clothes matched. :)
I wonder if, years from now, the Alpha Moms will regret that they didn't slow down and enjoy life more, and let their kids just be kids?
Here's the USA Today article:
'Slacker Moms' urge other mothers to chill
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Just relaxing and making memories...
Another thing that separates me from Alpha Moms (super moms, soccer moms, yuppie moms, total moms, etc.) is that they seem to always be on the go. I rarely see them relax. Mostly they are out and about in their minivans (SUVs these days) going from one activity to another, one destination to another. Kids are growing up in their car seats, looking at the backs of their parents' heads. Kids today are too clean! I rarely see a child dirty from playing outside in all that nice dirt, sand, water, and mud! I haven't seen a commercial telling us that bathtub ring is bad for a long time now. I guess not too many today have bathtub ring (a line of dirt around the tub after one's child has taken a bath).
When my son was born, we had a beautiful backyard. Fast forward 5 years...it was muddy and worn in places. We had little grass. But we have something better than grass - we had fun, and made memories. I remember my son sitting in his sand box with a friend, or by himself playing with his trucks. The little boy next door would press his face up to the screen and ask my son over and over "Whatcha doin'?" My son would say "playing" or "digging," and the other little boy would say "Oh, I wish I could dig, too." His mom didn't want him to get dirty, ever. She thought that I was a horrible parent because we encouraged playing in the dirt. And my son played outside in the rain! Without a coat! The little boy and his sister were dressed like little models in the morning, and they stayed inside all day long, staying clean. It was heartbreaking to watch those children watch my son playing with the water hose, or swinging on the swing with popsicle running down his face, covered in sand. Or playing in the mud, or planting in his little children's garden.
One of our fondest memories that still makes us laugh...One day, I brought my son in to give him a bath before lunch (there's no law that says a kid only has to have ONE bath a day, and my son sometimes needed 2 baths!). I went to pick up a lump of mud from the tub and the lump JUMPED! It was a toad from the garden that had gotten into his swim trunks when he was outside playing in the mud! He had a good time telling everyone about the mud that jumped in his tub.
I wonder about the memories of kids today...what will their memories be? Always in the car, going somewhere? Staying indoors and playing computer/video games, watching TV? What about the memories of just playing and relaxing in your own home and yard?
When my son was born, we had a beautiful backyard. Fast forward 5 years...it was muddy and worn in places. We had little grass. But we have something better than grass - we had fun, and made memories. I remember my son sitting in his sand box with a friend, or by himself playing with his trucks. The little boy next door would press his face up to the screen and ask my son over and over "Whatcha doin'?" My son would say "playing" or "digging," and the other little boy would say "Oh, I wish I could dig, too." His mom didn't want him to get dirty, ever. She thought that I was a horrible parent because we encouraged playing in the dirt. And my son played outside in the rain! Without a coat! The little boy and his sister were dressed like little models in the morning, and they stayed inside all day long, staying clean. It was heartbreaking to watch those children watch my son playing with the water hose, or swinging on the swing with popsicle running down his face, covered in sand. Or playing in the mud, or planting in his little children's garden.
One of our fondest memories that still makes us laugh...One day, I brought my son in to give him a bath before lunch (there's no law that says a kid only has to have ONE bath a day, and my son sometimes needed 2 baths!). I went to pick up a lump of mud from the tub and the lump JUMPED! It was a toad from the garden that had gotten into his swim trunks when he was outside playing in the mud! He had a good time telling everyone about the mud that jumped in his tub.
I wonder about the memories of kids today...what will their memories be? Always in the car, going somewhere? Staying indoors and playing computer/video games, watching TV? What about the memories of just playing and relaxing in your own home and yard?
Not an Alpha Mom...
I read a post the other day, it was written by, Constance Van Flandern the woman who coined the term Alpha Mom. In her post (in the link above, look for the post titled "Great Alpha Mom Feedback!), she writes "everyone writing about this, reading this, or responding to this is on the Internet and is plugged into one of the hottest trends of this year! You are engaged in exchanging ideas and information with other moms on a website created to keep you informed and connected! I hope you can laugh when you tell you friends you ARE an Alpha Mom!"
I disagree. But maybe we see the term differently. To me, an Alpha Mom is the typical type-A person. Always on the go, usually with a cell phone to her ear, even while driving. I've nearly run over her children in parking lots because Mom was too busy chatting on her cell to know what her kids were doing. She's usually the Mom who is on her laptop at Starbucks while the kids run around the place bothering other patrons. She'd die without her planner/agenda book/day runner or whatever they call 'em now. I figure if I can't keep things straight in my own head, I have to much to do. If I forget something, so what? The world won't stop, and I don't give a rat's patootie what the neighbor think. :)
Exchanging ideas and information is not something limited to Alpha's. Non-Alpha's may have some commonalities with the Alpha's, but a few commonalities does not an Alpha make.
I disagree. But maybe we see the term differently. To me, an Alpha Mom is the typical type-A person. Always on the go, usually with a cell phone to her ear, even while driving. I've nearly run over her children in parking lots because Mom was too busy chatting on her cell to know what her kids were doing. She's usually the Mom who is on her laptop at Starbucks while the kids run around the place bothering other patrons. She'd die without her planner/agenda book/day runner or whatever they call 'em now. I figure if I can't keep things straight in my own head, I have to much to do. If I forget something, so what? The world won't stop, and I don't give a rat's patootie what the neighbor think. :)
Exchanging ideas and information is not something limited to Alpha's. Non-Alpha's may have some commonalities with the Alpha's, but a few commonalities does not an Alpha make.
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